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From the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work.
Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:
- Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”
- Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection
- Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids
- And more!
Packed with fascinating questionnaires and exercises developed in his therapy, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all of the relationships in your life.
- Sales Rank: #1159 in eBooks
- Published on: 2017-02-22
- Released on: 2017-02-22
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again. This book shows how the simplest, nearly invisible gestures of care and attention hold the key to successful relationships with those we love and work with."
-- William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
"This is the best book on relationships I have ever read -- a truly impressive tour-de-force. John Gottman has discovered the Rosetta Stone of relationships. He has decoded the subtle secrets contained in our moment-to-moment communications. By introducing the simple yet amazingly powerful concept of the "bid," he provides a remarkable set of tools for relationship repair. By the middle of the second chapter you're likely to say to yourself, "Oh, so that's what's happening in my relationship with my partner (or colleague, boss, or sister), and now I know what to do about it."
-- Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D.,author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship
"The Relationship Cure is another in John Gottman's superb series of books on improving intimate relationships. What distinguishes Gottman's writing from that of other self-help books is that it is based on research findings from his extensive studies. When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work."
-- E. Mavis Hetherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia
"The Relationship Cure is both profound and practical, based on decades of research and clinical experience. The rich array of self-exploration exercises and guidelines offers a life-changing program for creating more rewarding emotional connections with friends, colleagues, and life partners."
-- Shirley P. Glass, ABPP, author of Treating the Trauma of Infidelity
"The Relationship Cure is engaging and imaginative. The deceptively simple but powerful concept of the 'emotional bid' reveals ways in which we can connect with significant others in our lives."
-- Andrew Christensen, Ph.D., coauthor of Reconcilable Differences
"I always expect to learn something from John Gottman, and I have never been disappointed. The Relationship Cure is original, insightful, and immensely helpful. I love the concept of emotional bids. Gottman not only helps the reader recognize how he or she may be short circuiting connection and communication, he gives them very good practical advice, as well as examples of wrong and right ways to deal with even the most aggressive or passive partner interaction."
-- Pepper Schwartz, Profesor of Sociology, the University of Washington, Seattle and author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex is Wrong
From the Inside Flap
A groundbreaking, practical program for transforming troubled relationships into positive ones
"This is the best book on relationships I have ever read. . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others." Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship
"John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again."William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
"When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work." E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia
From the country's foremost relationship expert and "New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life--with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:
* Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls "emotional connection"
* Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional "bid," the fundamental unit of emotional connection
* Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others' bids
About the Author
John M. Gottman, Ph.D., is the cofounder and co-director of the Gottman Institute, along with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. He is also Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle and the recipient of numerous national and international awards for his groundbreaking relationship research. His work has been featured on many national television shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, 20/20, Dateline, and Good Morning America. His previous books include the national bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child.
John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman founded the Gottman Institute to provide educational materials, therapist and couples workshops, and therapy to couples and families.
Joan DeClaire is a freelance writer specializing in psychology, health, and family issues. She lives in Seattle.
Most helpful customer reviews
27 of 29 people found the following review helpful.
Ahh john gohtman
By Brandi
Ah, John Gottman. Such wonderful research, such terrible titles.
Anyway, I already had to return this book to the library so I can only give you my impressions-- as my sister says, "the spaghetti that's stuck to the wall." So here goes:
Interactions involve people making "bids" for attention, affection, connection. When we respond successfully to others' bids, we are able to make strong and resilient relationships at home, work, school.
When someone makes a bid, you can respond either by turning toward the bid and making that connection, or by turning away from the bid by ignoring it, or by turning against it by turning it into a chance to fight.
So simple, right? Like Gottman's other books, the simple information is challenging to assimilate. I had to look at myself and realize how much turning away I do. And although I felt a little like an evil psychological mastermind, when I intentionally made bids and responded by turning toward bids at work-- wow. The sense of camaraderie and connection was palpable within a day or two.
So although reading Gottman's wonderfully empirical research can be uncomfortable, his suggestions for successful relationships are marvelously applicable.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
A great user guide for relationships in general
By PrettyinPink
This is a great read. I have begun to apply some of the things and already see improvements in some of the areas my marriage tends to be challenged in.
The premise is well written. Gottman and his team have clearly done their homework over the years and looking back over my own relationship experiences, even outside of marriage, I do believe that the reasons stated for the demise of relationships are legit.
If you are serious about self-improvement and developing and maintaining healthy relationships, I suggest this guide as a reference.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Great info and a quick read
By newmama1
This book should be required reading in HS. It can apply to every relationship -not just marriages. I'm even recognizing my dog's emotional "bids" now. I'm so thankful to have read this while my daughter is still a toddler. It can apply to the workplace, parenting, friendships, marriage etc. Great info and a quick read. Read it in two nights.
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